We have all heard of them, we all know what they are, But how many of us have actually been brave enough to get one? & No I’m not talking about an internet ordered bride from a country on the other side of the globe, I’m talking about …. Brazilians AKA a waxed box (or pussy or Va jay jay, or whatever you want to call it).
So most of us women have all left the 80’s behind and with that we also left behind the bushy muffs that most old school 80’s porn is full of! That’s right whether it be trimmed, maintained, shaven or waxed it’s pretty common these days for women to support a bush free environment down there.
Discussing this topic with a lot of friends and what do you know most of them have never had a brazilian in their life and stick to the old razor with shaving cream – most likely the less painful option but I’m telling you right now this would have to be the most annoying and frequent options if you choose to do so.
So why have so many of my friends never gained enough courage to go get a wax? Some of their pathetic excuses were;
“It’s going to hurt” – well yes it probably will sting a little, but nothing like a piercing or a tattoo and like the old saying goes “beauty is pain” right. My trick for this is to walk in there expecting it to hurt like F*@k…. That way when she pulls the first strip your more pleasantly surprised that it was nowhere near as bad as you thought it may be.
“I don’t want anyone seeing down there it would be embarrassing” – This excuse is one of the lamest of them all, these beauty therapist’s do hundreds of brazilians in a week so I can guarantee you that they have seen stranger looking boxes then yours & they do them so often they have already gone past the awkward I can see your box stage. Their main purpose is to get that box silky smooth and hair free. A brazilian is a lot more comfortable to get then a smear test from your doctor.
“You have to grow it before you get it waxed” righto love, you do, but not very much and after your first couple of times the hair grows less intense and a lot finer so it’s a lot less noticeable. If you’ve never experienced the silky smooth touch of a brazilianthen there’s no way you can even compare it to shaving.How often do you have to shave? Every day for optimum results? Even doing it weekly would be a pain in the arse. Try being smooth and hair free for up to 3-4 weeks! Oh yeah you know that would be bliss…
Every 6 weeks I spare 30 minutes of my time (sometimes less) to waltz into my beauty clinic take my pants off and lie on a bed and wait. The process isn’t daunting; I guess your first time it might be, but every other time after that is just like getting a spray tan or haircut. Your therapist will chat to you about your day whilst ripping the hairs out from the hair follicles on your Va jay jay. This is the trick to the long lasting smoothness- hair is ripped right from the follicle root and all – unlike shaving where it is cut and the skins edge.
Now if your still humming and haaring about getting waxed there’s not a lot more I can say to convince you, It’s 2012 people so put down those razors and be a little daring for once. Its honestly not as painful as you may think and the results are AMAZING, Normally after my wax I can’t help but want to smooth my hand over it, it feels as smooth as a baby’s bum! I kid you not after your first brazilian I doubt you’ll ever put a razor near your box again.
So go on pluck up the courage to go and do what everyone talks about and what we all secretly desire… GO and GET a WAX. Imagine living your entire life without ever experiencing a brazilian wax all because you think you already know how much it will hurt. Don’t be chicken and JUST DO IT. Then make your own judgement and remember you don’t have to get it all waxed off, you can get a landing strip or other shapes or you could opt for the full on Hollywood wax which gets all the hair right the way around… yes around to your behind- you may never look there but it gets hairy there to!
The results of brazilian’s speak for themselves really & you’ll never know until you try, you will be surprised at and delighted with the outcome and will probably try to convince other’s to “grow some balls” and do the same thing. Once you have had your first wax you can join the elite “smooth silky pussy’s club” and yes your partner WILL certainly notice the difference, who knows he may even find dinner down there more enjoyable because it’s so smooth and there’s none of that “upward grinding stubble feeling.”
So say your final goodbyes to the 80’s and a big welcoming hello to 2012 …. Enjoy your freshly waxed boxes ladies!! For it is something you will not regret!
Malestripper.org.nz recommends www.exquisitebeauty.co.nz in Hamilton.
Erin Alberino
